Consider the Wildflowers

First off, let me give a disclaimer before getting into my post: I am a Christian and I believe that the Bible is real and true. I am and will always be Pro-Life as I believe wholeheartedly that life begins at conception and God knows us before we are even created. He has a purpose for every life. With this being said, I am a Christian who also believes that kindness and love are Jesus’ greatest commandments. No matter what your view of abortion is, it is not my place to cast any judgment. I am not perfect. I have made more mistakes than I want to admit in my life. We are all entitled to our own thoughts, beliefs, and lifestyle choices. I myself have been hurt by people in the church bashing me for choices I have made in my life (stay tuned, a Church hurt post is coming). They made me feel like I wasn’t a good Christian, that I was destroying my family. It was painful and it made me realize why people see Christians as hypocrites. But please please know, not all Christians are like that. Please understand that a true Christian will walk with ANYONE and show compassion. The drug addict, the homeless, the criminal, the adulterer, the teenage girl who just got a positive pregnancy test and is thinking about abortion. There are good Christians ready to be the Salt and the Light to these people. Does it mean we support their addictions or decisions? No. It means that we will support THEM as humans going through life just like every other person on the planet who deserves grace and mercy. It means we will show empathy and hospitality like Jesus. It means that we will not cast that first stone, but rather pick someone up from Rock Bottom. Please don’t believe all Christians are the same; just like every race, religion, or lifestyle there will be those that will make extremely poor choices. It doesn’t mean we should discriminate against them all. …….Ok, so now that my mini sermon is over, I want to discuss something I have been thinking about for awhile that the Roe vs. Wade decision as well as a discussion with my husband reignited in me. First, it is important to realize exactly what the overturning of this case actually means. The Roe vs. Wade was a turning point in Women’s rights . On January 22, 1973, The US Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution would protect a woman’s choice if she chose to have an abortion. The overturning of Roe vs. Wade on June 22, 2022 made the states, rather, than federal government, the right to allow or ban abortions.

Womens rights…… Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all about the strong, independent woman movement. I have been a single mom and lived that life; I didn’t need a man to do anything for me. I completely believe women can do anything men can do, often better. If I grew up in the 60’s I probably would have been one of the carefree, bra-burning, flower-child hippies (minus the drugs and risky behaviors). I support women having rights. However this post isn’t going to be about women having more or less rights; this post is about men’s rights. Specifically in relation to children. As a refresher, let’s go back to middle school health class where we learned how babies are made. Biology….. It takes both a man and a woman to make a baby. Whether you are using a surrogate or insemination, or making a baby the old-fashioned way, there is always a male involved. I have 2 sons and a bonus son so little boys have my heart. One day these little boys will be grown men who will father their own children one day. My prayer of course is they wait until they meet the right woman and can raise and parent their children together. Unfortunately, I am well aware that life doesn’t always work this way. I am a child of divorce, as our my kids (bio and bonus). When the relationship doesn’t work out is where I want to begin this discussion. Let’s pretend that one of my sons accidentally gets his girlfriend pregnant several years from now….the girlfriend is scared of what people will think of her and feels her future is ruined. She may not be pro life or maybe her family is pushing her into “taking care of the situation.” The truth is that “situation” is half my son. Half my future grandchild. Do fathers have rights in situations like this (I understand situations like rape/incest are very different)? From everything I have researched the answer appears to be no. The girlfriend doesn’t even have to tell him. As a future Grandma, this breaks my heart. However, it’s not just abortions that strip father’s of their rights. It can happen when a mom decides to put the baby up for adoption. (Disclaimer: I am not up to date on the laws of all 50 states and do not know which states do require signatures from the father). It happens when the mom decides she doesn’t want the dad’s name on the birth certificate. It happens even when children have grown up with good fathers in their lives and divorce, greed, and resentment hold better ground in court than evidence of a good father wanting equal time with his children. Don’t get me wrong; there are some horrible, dead-beat, unworthy fathers out there. But, there are just as many selfish, alienating, bad moms out there as well. Unfortunately the only ones suffering are the children. Children that are unable to experience the blessings of a good father. Children unfortunately being manipulated and brainwashed to believe their father is unloving, too busy, unwilling to compromise, an unfit parent, the list goes on and on. And the courts side with the mom almost every single time. No research as to which parent spends more quality time with the children or who fixes healthy meals, transports them to school events, provides supervision at all times, etc. Instead, a judge gives the majority of custody to the mother along with a child support amount that probably makes the father go almost broke and often is used for everything else besides the children. So while the world is protesting over women losing their rights when choosing to have a baby or not, there are men who never even have the option to be a father.